asgardeventide | 010 - Video (Filtered away from Ritsu Sohma)

[Samantha is sitting in her shop, glass beakers full of various chemicals, an apparatus doing some sort of filtration going nearby. She looks over at it idly and yawns, having just turned on the feed. Looking back at the screen, she gets a truly impish look on her face, one fang showing.]

Ok. So the world isn't ending tomorrow, and we're hopefully busy trying to prepare for the next great battle. Fine and dandy. But this city's gray as hell, and just training troops won't cut it. That gives me a perfectly good excuse to do something I've been wanting to do for a couple months.

I've got a ... yeah, I can go with friend here. He's kind of an idiot, and he is so damned wedged up in his little shell that he really needs to get cracked out of it. So, I'm setting the dumb dumb up. And this is where all of you lovely people come in. I am setting them up on a blind date, and one of you lucky people gets to be the other half of the date. I'll pay for a nice night over at Folkvang for you two, whichever one of you who pipes up I think's the best match. I will make sure he shows up, one way or another.

Gender's not an issue, as far as I can tell. Don't expect him to put out, and if you think I'm going to let you hurt him, you've got another thing coming. You're going to play nice with him or there's goin to be hell to pay. So, who's in?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Excuse him while he snorts unattractively.]

You didn't strike me as the cupid type.

Eh heh, I'm not really interested in a date, but good luck anyway! I hope he finds someone nice!

I'm not. [Have a chuckle in return.] I've been dealing with this one for a good month and a half, and he needs a date so much it's fucking painful, but he'd never ask himself.

You ever met someone you felt the urge to tell "You really need to get laid?"

That's the goal anyway. He's a nice guy... when he's not apologizing for breathing.

[He turns the question back on her, his smile cruel and cutting.]

You ever known someone who was dating a girl whose touch could kill in under a minute? Yeah, I've been there.

I once knew a girl who's skin was poisonous. She wasn't too much into the whole dating scene though. Usually preferred to lurk in alleys like me a lot. But yeah, that'd be kind of a bitch and a half.

This one just sucks out life energy through her skin. Trust me, it's not pleasant. [His eyes darken, and he frowns deeply.]

No. That isn't a pleasant experience. I've got a little experience with what that feels like, or at least one method of doing that. that's a real damper on dating.

I never said he had any taste. [A bit of that bite returning to his voice.] But do you really think this is gonna work? "I know a loser who needs a date, and I'll pay you to do it?"

You never know, you never know. Besides, there's a few people who don't mind him. He's just... really self-loathing. Like agonizingly.

If they were interested beyond that, they'd probably be dating him already. I don't think reverse-pimping is going to help much.

...isn't this something a man would rather handle on his own?

This one wouldn't ever have the balls to do it, and he really needs it. Boy needs to lighten up a lot.

Hmmm...

[that's the sound of someone plotting something Shinji. run.]

That's not for anyone else to say.

[ ......step away from his not-girlfriend's honour, Samantha. ]

Can't have what you never knew was available. But who knows? You might be right. I'm not too worried either way. This just seems like a fun idea.

...

They're also a little fun to torture.

[Give him a second.]

He doesn't know you're doing this, does he?

[giggle, but does he realize who she's talking about just yet?]

Hmmm. I've warned him I might try to set him up before. Honestly, if he would actually flatly tell me no, I'd be ok backing down. I would like to help him learn to assert himself a little more.

He hates himself far too much for it to be good for him.

[Yeah, pot, kettle...]

I threatened him with it a few times, but nope. He doesn't know this is happening today. He's filtered out on purpose. he'd be squacking and bleating like you would not believe about how he's a terrible choice.

I am never entirely altruistic.

Okay, I take it back. This is golden. I wish you all the luck in the world.

I'll snag him someone. No offense. not asking you. You'd probably break him a little. Need someone a little sweeter.

Does that sort of thing... actually work?

I was never on the table, and never will be. Even if I wanted to be bought, it wouldn't be for a simpering idiot, and certainly not a male one. Keep your apologies.

God only knows. Out of curiosity, you interested?

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010 - Video (Filtered away from Ritsu Sohma)

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