asgardeventide | 001 // Video

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001 // Video

[The feed flicks on to show a somewhat determined looking Dave. His eyebrows quirk for a moment before he seems satisfied with something.]

Alright, so this place is kind of lame and I figure it's my personal job to kickstart the un-lame-ing, so I'm officially challenging anyone in Asgard with rhythm and balls to a rap off. Don't worry, y'all. I'll spit you a nice example to get the ball rolling.

[He shakes out his shoulders and puts one hand to his chest and the other to his stomach. He begins patting out a beat and bobbing his head before taking a slow breath in.]

(Hey, watch my mouth.)
First name Dave, last name Strider, I'm
The temporarily temporally estranged god of time
Turnin' tracks, spinnin' beats
While y'all punks kiss my feets.
Take a minute, take ya seats
While my tongue drops these treats.

(Yup.)
(Let it run a sec.)

(Alright, go.)
Chasin' paper, gettin' boonbucks.
Check these fake gods. Don't give no fucks.(What?)

(What?)
Yeah, I said it.
Finna put that shit up on my blog.
Have y'all read it? (Nah.)
Alright, well hit it up, it's some clever shiiiiit.
And I'mma keep on bein funny for a little biiiiit.

(Alright, I'mma bounce,)

But I'mma stick around,
max my swag, do my time
and I'mma pass this mic
And y'all gon bust some weak ass rhymes.

What.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ -- oh, okay, she doesn't seem to have realized the video is on yet, because she's kind of just cracking up to herself. ]

you had best be giggling because youre so damned charmed harley

Edited 2012-09-14 05:05 (UTC)

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nukeoleptic - 2012-09-14 05:08 (UTC) - Expand

[Turned on the video just so you can see her clap her hands!]

That was pretty good Dave!

Ahem.

[Clearing his throat here. And then, as enunciated as possible...]

There once was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke with a fright,
In the middle of the night,
To find that his dream had come true.

[Face in hands.]

Jake what.

You!

[Pointing.]

You are my new favorite person.

Edited 2012-09-14 05:07 (UTC)

[Dave stares disapprovingly.]

No.

[The feed continues for another two minutes, with Dave staring, silently judging.]

[He's gonna send a rap back to Dave in a hot minute, but this... this needs to be addressed.]

You're supposed to come up with something original in a rap off, Jake. As much as I find the blatant disregard for tradition absolutely knee-slapping, I must insist you cite your source.

[Even though, technically, there is no known author for that little rhyme. He's just giving you a bit of a hard time, bro.]

Edited 2012-09-14 10:30 (UTC)

There once was a lameass named Jake
And nothing but lameness, he spake
He tried to spit flow
And everyone said, "no."
Except Xavier, who can step on a rake.

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Wow, subject line fail on that first one. My bad. 1/2 though.

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I used the icon I wanted to, okay?

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[Oh, look. Xavier's best friend is back!

[At least it'll make Rose happy.]

Seriously, dude?

you are cordially invited to stay pressed bro

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spaghettiokay - 2012-09-14 05:22 (UTC) - Expand

[ God bless you Dave Strider, for this is a perfect chance for this douche nozzle to bust out his guitar.

He strums — ]

I have no idea what you just said kid,
but I really like your tone.
If I sing like this for a little bit,
I think it's you that I'll woah.

[ He stops for about five seconds. ]

I'm doing this right. Tell me I'm doing this right.

[voice.]

coreyhartenthusiast - 2012-09-17 10:30 (UTC) - Expand

[So this is the kind of rap off where they do introductions and talk big about themselves. He can dig.]

Let me introduce myself, first name Dirk, last name Strider
Intrusive, illusive lyrical mind stalker,
Inconspicuous like a ghost, 'could say I'm an anomaly,
I weave riddles, run circles 'round applied psychology,

I'm the puppet master yanking your strings for the kids' delights,
My lyrics full of so much energy they can spark lights,
I build machines, their vigilance ignites the Earth,
With flames of passion, you'll undergo a spiritual rebirth,

And on that note, I'll pass it back,
I'm not one to ramble my tongue off the beaten track,
Especially about myself, a topic that'd get your head in a bind,
And send you back to a time out of mind.

Ahem, excuse me bro,
But let's sit down and talk family matters
Like why you gotta run ya mouth
And sit and spew these chatters.

I gotta say,
Ya rhetoric
Makin' ya sound
Bit like a dick

And I won't sit
And take this shizz
While you flowin'
Pretentious.

(Nah. Not my thing)
(But I'mma bring this back)

Now at this rap game
I'm the best.
This Xavier kid
Can just stay pressed,
But if I might
Ignore this pest
There's somethi,ng I
Want off my chest.

[He takes a shaky breath in, then presses on.]

Now I'm not gonna
try and front-
A change of pace,
Yeah I'll be blunt.
In my world
You're a giant:
My fam, my Bro
My sole parent.

Now, you know Striders
We don't freak,
But here's some spoilers
I'mma leak:
My you's a hero
Tragic. Greek.
And my you died...

And if hes mortal, then I'm hella weak.

So I'm not tryin' to estrange you
But see, to me, this you's a strange you.
So I'm asking for some space, some range. You
Are like seein' a ghost and that's real strange, dude.

Edited 2012-09-14 21:12 (UTC)

[VOICE]

masterofpuppets - 2012-10-07 20:48 (UTC) - Expand

you ju2t broke my 2cale for uniintentiional toolne22.
ii'm goiing two have two recaliibrate two get an accurate readiing on how devastatiingly uncool that wa2.

adorable
the alien dude doesnt get the point of human raps
i just want to pat him on the head or some shit.

dude the whole fucking point is to be a tool. nothing unintentional anywhere in this bitch.

Edited 2012-09-17 10:05 (UTC)

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[ what in the fuck is this. ]

...What kind of music is this called, again?

[ she isn't exactly sure what she thinks of it just yet. ]

[Oh. Oh wow. Hey there, ma'am, how are YOU today?]

It's called "rap." Think of it like aggressive poetry to a beat. Care to give it a spon, Miss...uh...?

[SO smooth. So. Smooth.]

[Video.] omg i'm so sorry i forgot to tag this back... jsyk, he made me laugh so hard

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mobilize - 2012-10-07 14:32 (UTC) - Expand

I don't understand your poetry at all.

its
i mean
its angry poetry?

man do you really not
am i seriously in some crapass dimension where only half the population knows about rap?
fuckin kill me right goddamn now.

Edited 2012-09-17 10:09 (UTC)

W-wonderful. More people that fuckin' w-want to see me dead.

Strider. I assume one a' the others found you a hivve an' all that. Not like how-w they fuckin' abandoned me.

[That's Eridanese for "Sup, Dave, it's nice to see you. How're you settling in? Have any questions?"]

Edited 2012-09-15 17:43 (UTC)

i mean im rocking the assigned living space and all
gotta say that yeah i wasnt really too abandoned
everybody all climbin on my dick and shit as soon as i pop up
like damn.
let a guy rest a minute

but hey nah youre alright alive. i got no beef with that.

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[She's not much of a rapper. The best she's done is observe, so she won't even try, but-- well, she can't let this pass without a,]

Welcome back. [He's just as silly as she remembers.]

hey thanks

but uh if its cool that im asking
who are you again?

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[ hard rock is more his jam, but he feels this... and he'll give it a go. it's hard to make Mike Chilton back down from a challenge!

he smiles and clears his throat. ]

Nice job, man; gotta say, I'm impressed
But I'll take on your challenge, we'll see who's the best.

My name's Mike Chilton, and I gotta say
Your rap? Not bad! But you'd better make way
For the leader of the Burners, we fight to stay free
And keep a maniac's paws off our turf, Motorcity.

God of time? I dunno, not sure if I buy it
God of rhyme? Pretty good, but I'll just drive by it!

You've got guts, kid - givin' credit where it's due
Haven't met a lot of guys that drop a verse like you.
But you'll have to try harder if you wanna take me down,
So bring it on, give your best, I'll just steal your rap crown.

I'm gonna bow out, so you can try to recover
From these beats I just dropped, unique like no other
But I'll leave you with a motto; Burners live by it, see?
Just remember these words: "live fast, live free".

Uh... word.

Edited 2012-09-16 04:18 (UTC)

Oh shit! Spittin flow, it's Mike Chilton!
He's kinda throwin' back. That shit sound like the 80s, son!
I think you're seemin' kinda cocky like you're number one,
But sit back now, let the master have a little fun.

You got some greaser swag.
I ain't gonna lie.
Next to your competition,
You might even be fly.
But I'mma lay it down,
I'mma tell you why
You just can't trump Dave Strider,
No matter how you try.

[He gathers in a breath. Rapid fire mode engage.]

I may be just a kid, but that shit ain't gonna stop me,
'Cause I'm fighting and I'm hungry and I need to need to drop beats.

You wanna be cool, yeah you're cool, Mike Chilton,
But are you as cool as an orphan dj from a universal abortion?

(It's okay.)
(Few are.)

I'm layin' beats so sick and stupid
Theyre best enjoyed by some slow learners
And I'mma let em simmer now
Crock pot. Stove top.

Back Burners.

So yeah. Check it.

[ooc: I'm so sorry if this sucks. Poetry is not my forte yo. D:]

Sadly, I don't rap, I only sing.
But my voice is gonna blow
you right outta the water.
I've sold millions of singles
and albums to spare.

Can you handle this melody?
Something tells me no.

[And then Sheryl will turn over to voice.]

If you want anymore than that, I'll have to charge.

Alright little lady,
I'mma sit and break it down-
Yeah you got a pretty voice,
But Dave Strider wears the crown.

You spin a pretty line
And you don't drop a humble brag,
But your verses lack in sick rhymes,
And no rhymes equals no swag.

Let's make us a deal, though.
I like your steeze and if you'd like,
I could whip a new track up
and on the chorus, you'd take mic.

um
everything i do is cool
so yes this is cool

this has been a psa from dave fucking strider

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you posted im SO HAPPY [video.]

[video.] 2/2 SORRY

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