asgardeventide | 01 [video]

Things are really getting into the Christmas spirit, aren't they, lady? They kinda caught me off guard... I haven't had the chance to do any Christmas shopping, and I'm strapped for cash.

What? Is this just some sort of subtle way to beg me for more money again? Who would a guy like you even buy a Christmas present for to begin with? [ she sighs. ] Besides, if these weird snowmen are supposed to be 'the Christmas spirit' I think it's just bothersome.

[ busted. ]

Hyahahha, I'm hurt... I was thinking of getting you one. Now you can't complain if all I can afford are tissues... [ hm. ] The snowmen, huh? They're pretty cool, aren't they? [ he holds up the pair of gloves he managed to score off of his own; if anyone is good at ass kissing, it would be amakusa. ] Did you manage to win a prize too?

[ something very faint that's almost pouty manages to break through ange's deadpan expression at that question, especially when she stares at the gloves he already managed to obtain. ]

Ridiculous. Why should I listen to a snowman who asks me to smile? I don't see the point of any of this nonsense.

What's wrong with giving it a little smile? [ he smiles quite broadly to demonstrate. ] It's not like you lose anything. Where is that thing anyway? I'll give him as many smiles as he wants. You do it too, lady. It's not healthy to always be pouting like that.

Ah, you'll never change, will you? Even when it's snowmen of all things giving out free stuff, you're still first in line to steal away their entire supply. Great to see that even in a place like this a man like you won't change, Amakusa. [ she's quite obviously just avoiding the subject though, her own expression still stuck on a slight pouty frown. ] And I'm not going to smile for some stupid snowman. And that's final... In fact, if you want me to smile so badly, why don't you make me, huh? Come on, give me your best joke.

There's nothing in this world better than free stuff. [ unfortunately ange can't get out of this that easily. ] Oh, is that a challenge? Can I bring a smile to the face of this frighteningly cold lady? Alright, I accept!

[ and with that, he clears his throat dramatically. ]

What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies? [ ... ] Snowballs!

[ at first, there's a long pause in which her expression doesn't change a single bit. but just at the point where it would normally turn into an awkward silence, there's a slight snerk and there's no denying that she definitely does look amused, a thin smile on her face. ]

Now that is the worst joke I've ever heard.

Hyahahhaa... but it worked, didn't it? [ that was sort of a smile. ] I'm glad I got it on camera. [ at that he holds up his bracelet that's been... recording... ]

[ there's a moment where it almost looks like she doesn't understand, but then her mouth drops open a little in shock before the frown returns worse than before; there's something clearly embarassed in all of it which turns into tsun anger. ]

Listen up, at this rate I'll definitely be cutting your pay in hal-- [ her own line is cut off as she smacks his bracelet, turning the feed off. ]

(( OOC: Grey is

selfsatisfying, Red is

endofdaydream! Both will respond. If Amakusa is still alive long enough to, anyway. ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Heh, a bodyguard for a bodyguard, huh? [ a shake of the head. ] Don't worry... the first rule of being a bodyguard is that you gotta look after yourself. Can't do much good to your client if you get offed.

[ now if his own safety was to be weighed against his client's... well that's a different matter entirely. ]

You sure? Like the lady was pointing out to me, you two could get ambushed at any time by a mob of sloppily made, murderous snowmen! I'll stumble across you, with a sawed off carrot-nose in your chest and a lump of coal in your pockets, instead of your money.

[ Amakusa sure does know his priorities. ]

Oooh... I hadn't even thought of that. [ he crosses his arms, thinking. ] Man, death by snowman. That's not a good way to go out... well, I'd at least go out in a blaze of glory, letting the lady get away. If it became common knowledge that I let my ward go down against snowmen, I don't think I'd ever get work again.

No work, no money, no food. I might as well be dead anyway.

You got that right. I know I wouldn't hire a guy who let his lady die in an explosion of watery snowman guts.

But if you died saving her, then you'd be a hero. This would make a perfect movie, but only if she had your children after your funeral.

[ GOD, DON'T LET ANGE HEAR HIM SAYING THESE THINGS. ]

That doesn't sound like a bad way to go. If I had to die, I'd rather do it protecting a beauty.

But the children thing... [ hm. ] Hyahhaha, I think she'd have some issues with that one. Plus it'd mean a love scene before the ending, right? [ hmmmm. ] Man, Okonogi would have my head.

[ better hope she's not listening jr... ]

Heh, we could always keep the rating kid-appropriate, but then it wouldn't be nearly as much fun, would it? You'll have to take it up with the director.

[ Trouble in paradise? ] Okonogi her fiance or something?

[ Too late, about to be staked, send help. ]

Thinking about it, if I was going to be in a movie, I'm not sure I'd want it to be kid friendly anyway. You can do a lot more once you give up on getting that low rating.

[ a shake of the head. ] He's my employer... the one who assigned me to be her bodyguard. You could say he's a family friend of hers.

[ r. i. p. ]

Lemme guess, like...violence, bar fights, drunken stupors, explosions, more explosions, sex scenes, explosions during sex scenes...that kind of stuff, right?

[ He "ohhhh"s for a minute, but doesn't pry anymore than that. The fact that a family friend had to hire a bodyguard for that girl is probably more than he deserves to know. He can't help wonder, though, what it is about her that she'd be in danger. ]

Exactly! Hyahahha, guess you know my taste. I'm a pretty easy guy to please, right?

[ add in the fact that said bodyguard is actually supposed to kill her and welp. ange has all the luck. all of it... ]

But I think it's at that part of the movie where we find out that you're not actually the cool tough guy that you pretend you are! In the end, we discover you secretly donate all your money to charity, that you don't actually have sex with women — you just give them free pelvic examinations, and that you read to orphans on the weekends.

You still like explosions though.

Right?

[ WORST BODYGUARD EVER ]

"Free pelvic examinations"... [ he just stares blankly at that, before laughing. ] Wow, guess you've really figured me out. I try to hide the fact I'm such a nice guy, but you got me. [ ...just... not. ]

That's not saying much. Who doesn't like explosions?

[ ...pretty much yeah. ]

I knew I nailed it.

[ Jr. could write the most IC Amakusa app now, based on these facts. ]

Dinosaurs?

I pride myself on being a pretty simple man.

[ it's not that hard a thing to do. ]

Nah, I'm sure even dinosaurs can appreciate them. As long as they aren't being wiped out.

video.

I'll aspire to be more like you then, old man.

[ He considers this. ]

This place is turning up talking ponies and trolls. Maybe the next newcomer will be a raptor and we can ask it ourselves.

[ Grinning, he glances at the time on the bracelet's holographic dashboard. ]

I gotta split, old man. Take it easy, alright?

[ amakusa is definitely a good role model... ]

Hyahaha! I wouldn't be surprised at all. Gotta wonder whether half the things we're running into here are just some pranking us...

[ a shake of the head. ]

As long as you do the same.

A damn bad prank if you ask me.

[ Shrugging, he flashes Amakusa another grin. ]

Got it.

[ The feed ends. ]

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