asgardeventide | oo1

[ so, Tony's been kind of absent lately. he has a tendency to do that when he decides there's something more important afoot. in this case, the more important matter is reading up on this place and trying to find materials. what is the man without his prosthesis? it's just not right.

but see, it's kind of difficult to scavenge properly when you're stuck inside the city and can't get past the wall. so Tony's kind of frustrated. he'll pop up on the network rubbing his fingers along his beard and staring for a good few seconds before he speaks. ]

Yeah, see, I don't get it. First there's a giant dragon setting our asses on fire. Then there are little...Frosty the Snowman things that seem hellbent on getting their own fair share of alien ass. [ a pause. ] Alien. Alien? Yeah, no, that's right, we're uh, we're technically aliens here, so. Yeah. And y'know, I'm not opposed per se, but it's not really the kind of ass I'm typically used to. And now there's some crazy Viagra-popper telling me to watch out. Seems you guys got some problems you need to sort out.

[ and when he sits back, the feed takes a second to refocus on him. if you pay attention, you can see there are some electronics that have been dismantled in the background. is that a TV? it's unclear what, but he's definitely trying to build something back there, and the pieces are scattered around a helmet. ]

But anyway, back to my original point - I don't get it. You "gods" want us to save your little world, right? I can buy that. My own needs some help once in a while; whose doesn't? But that's a pretty hefty task, don't you think? So I- I think that, considering I at least have experience with this kind of thing, you're asking me for a favor, and I think I'm entitled to a little more than sharing a bathroom.

I— You guys are the ones that kidnapped me. You should know who I am, unless it's just this- huge, cosmic lottery that I lost. Which is starting to sound more likely every day. I can accept that, fine. But Tony Stark [ and there's a gesture towards himself ] does not share a bathroom, and he does not share it with Mr. Neatfreak Sasquatch. [ and then a vague wave at a closed door.

and Tony pauses before turning in that direction, his voice rising a little so Sam can hear him through the door— ] Which, by the way, Muttonchops? You need to put a tie on your doorknob or something whenever your Fuzzy Forest Friends come around. I don't like sharing, and I like the thought of people walking in on me in the bathroom even less.

God. [ it's just a quiet groan as Tony closes his eyes to rub his forehead. ] This is ridiculous - I haven't had a good Scotch in what feels like years; I'm starving. [ he points at the feed, giving everyone a Look. ] Y'know what, when Fury busts my ass for missing rehearsal for his boy band, I'm pinning it on you guys. Because for once, it isn't actually my fault.

[ and it ends there. ]

[ooc; in which we find out that he rambles when he complains. sup guys, Tony Stark is back in action. :3a]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ..................... ]

You leave your crap everywhere and you're telling me that I'm the problem.

[ -- Sam looks like he hasn't slept in... awhile. But that does not mean he cannot still look incredulous.

ALSO FUCK YOU IRON MAN NEVER MEET YOUR HEROES.]

[Have a teenage girl giggling at you, Tony. She can't help it- Neatfreak Sasquatch? Come the hell on.]

If it helps, I think everyone here lost the lottery.

Do you know how to make moonshine? I'm getting kinda desperate, too.

[ YOU. you get a fingerpoint. ]

Uh, yeah. I'm not the one bringing pals over at random times, am I? At least your privacy isn't in jeopardy here.

[ FUCK YOUR TIRED, MAN, TONY NEEDS HIS SPACE

do you want him to sign a comic book for you

will that make you feel better ]

Oh my god, you're in a fucking boy band??

[ hint of sarcasm, because well, it's obvious who's joking here. ]

[ a teenage girl. giggling at him. eh, it's close enough to his fan throngs back home, maybe he feels a little better. ]

Moonshine? Can't say I do. I'm sure we could figure it out though. Whaddaya say, wanna give it a go?

[ nope, Tony Goddamn Stark is all serious all the time. that's totally not more sarcasm in return. ]

Uh, yeah, it's supposed to be this big secret thing. We're supposed to, I don't know. Bust out on the scene and take the world by storm. Isn't that what they normally do?

[She's getting it together, but still looks like she wants to laugh.]

That sounds fun. You never know, maybe I'll figure it out. It'd probably in my blood or something.

[woo Kansas!]

I don't bring them over, they just show up.

[Sam is on constant psychotic break watch, okay, Tony, fuck you. 8|]

And I don't have any privacy to jeopardize, but the next time you feel lonely, I'll send over the faceless maid so you can have some company.

[AND ... it might. 8(]

That is my mom.

Consider your moonshine making activities carefully.

[You are going to behave yourself, god fucking dammit.]

[ now that kind of attitude? that's what he's talking about. ]

I guess? I'm flabbergasted, to be honest.

Do you work for some kind of old dudes united type of fundraising charity where you tell everyone who comes to your concerts that it's for a good cause?? It's not that I doubt your natural ability to perform, it's just that I doubt your legitimacy as a dude in a snazzy suit.

[Rikku is focusing on one thing:]

What?! They let you take apart your television!?

[Forgive her, but Claire is still giggling when she starts the video. Ahem.]

What kind of things are usually your fault, then?

It's free housing. How can so many people complain about that?

... Tony Stark.

[SO UNIMPRESSED. THIS IS THE WORST DISGUISE EVER HOLMES -- YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING HERE.]

That's even worse, then. What, are you guys in a Scrabble League or something back home? Making sure you don't get rusty?

[ HUSH MAYBE HE'S A LITTLE JEALOUS, OKAY. lonely rich boy is jealous and lonely. he wants his friends from back home, too. :9 ]

Oh, then, you wouldn't mind if I came in sometime? If uh, if privacy isn't that big of a thing for you. I could always use more wiring. [ and there's a wave of his hand! ] And don't bother. I tried, they're terrible assistants. Can't stick around for anything.

[ .....o h . WELL. why settle for an autograph when the real thing is in your bathroom? ]

Oh yeah? What, your family run a brewery or something? Hey, gimme the name of it, maybe I'll stop by sometime when I get home.

[ it's not an if. it is definitely a when. ]

Never met a booze I didn't like. Except, well, moonshine, since this isn't the Prohibition era and I can get hydrated however I want.

But yeah, sure. Moonshine. Let's, uh, let's make it a date or something.

That's - that's your mom?

[ DOES NOT COMPUTE. DOES NOT COMPUTE. WHAT. ]

Kinda young, huh? God, she looks...what, twenties? Are you sure about that?

[ PFT. TONY STARK DOES NOT BEHAVE. ]

Flabbergasted, huh? [ yeah, that's about the reaction he normally expects. adoration, too. ] Well, tell you what, I'll give you an autograph and you can sell it for big bucks when we're famous.

[ but hey! that earns a laugh from him. ]

For a good cause? Yeah, something like that. I definitely don't think we're getting paid or anything. [ there's a minute glance back toward his helmet then. man, you ain't seen nothing. but he gestures to his clothes instead. ] Don't worry. I think I got the snazzy down. It's kind of hard, though, when my wardrobe is back home and I'm. Uh. Not.

Let me? [ psh, like he's going to let something as small as permission stop him. ] Didn't realize I had to ask. It's in my room, it's mine. I don't see why I shouldn't take it apart if I need to.

Why, is yours still in one piece?

[ oh god, it's a kid. another kid. he's not so good with kids. they're like smaller adults, but more impressionable. ]

Uh, well. Lots of things. I dunno, it really depends on what you're asking for. I did kind of..ruin the Monaco Grand Prix one year, but I figured everyone knew about that. And y'know, that wasn't technically my fault either.

The accommodations I'm used to, I pay for myself. And uh, usually span a much bigger area than this. So this is kind of an awkward downgrade for me. I haven't had to share anything since college. Didn't like it then, don't like it now.

Uh, speaking. Can I help you?

[ HEY, NICE MUSTACHE. WHAT SMALL ANIMAL HAD TO DIE FOR IT TO EXIST? ]

Unfortunately. The other people in Freya's house aren't too keen on my making a mess to figure out how exactly a TV works. We don't have them back home.

Really? They're, well, without a signal they're pretty basic stuff, but it's still a pretty good starting point. Besides, they pretty much gave it to you, right? Do you always let people tell you what to do with your stuff?

[ don't be put off, though! if his wasn't already semi-rewired, he'd take you on a tour of his. ]

I get that, yeah. But when we came here, we started over, with nothing. We could've been homeless until we could work and pay for our keep.

The gods are... difficult, but I think we at least have to thank them for the food and housing.

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oo1 - video

[Video] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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[Video] C'MON SAM YOU'RE WAY TOO MUCH OF A MOOSE TO BE SO NEAT

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[Video] SHUT UP TONY HE HAS TO DO SOMETHING TO STAY SANE.

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[Video] SOME PEOPLE COLLECT STAMPS. ASGARD MUST HAVE LOTS OF STAMPS TO ADD TO YOUR COLLECTION.

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[video] also oh my god I'm so excited I've been wanting to throw him at you hhhhh

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