asgardeventide | ( two ) video/possible freyr action

[ hey asgard. surfing the network? well whoop-de-doo have a post from one (1) dave strider. he's looking fairly normal today, body distanced a bit from the video. but that's for a reason. he's pretty much studied up on the currency of asgard, all for the purpose of this message. ]

Ok, so. Apparently people are going around getting jobs and whatnot and since hot tubs don't just fall out of the sky unless you win it cupcake-baking, I'm just gonna sit here and advertise to you my

commissions.

For those of you that are way too low on the low-down to know what these are, or you're head's still stuck in the 15th century, commissions are basically a case of 'you pay me' and 'I give you artwork'.

And I know what you're thinking; oh Dave how would you shit out masterpiece after masterpiece oh so eloquently in such a pre-modern phenomenon without a lunk of a computer???

[ chill as heck face. ]

Well baby, this is traditional. Ha.

[ with that statement, dave searches through a pile of papers sitting next to him and brings up a medium-sized sheet of crumbled paper with red markings and a drawing on it. he places it directly at the video feed, covering his face while he talks, and when done - exchanging the piece of paper for another throughout the feed. ]

First up is a traditional sketch. Doodle. Thing. I'm gonna go with 3 runes on this thing since I'm not exactly giving you the equivalent of St. Peter's Basilica's sculptures.

I guess if I tried coloring it I'd have to charge more??? Jesus fuck sometimes sketches are better left uncolored -- especially if you haven't got a clue what you're doing.

This is not one of those cases.

If you want shitty artist tier material that'll make you cream your pants then go figure! Special effects! 9 runes each, about 1 silver rune. Don't ask how I do it, though. That's a secret.

[ he finishes, laying back a bit. ]

Aaaad, that's all.

All these prices are in copper runes and all of them are currently open. I'm in stealth mode right now, don't want too many people grabbing at my sweet deals and take my commissions under siege. So honestly, you're getting a really sweet deal. We can always figure out a cost if you're low on the dough, but don't try pulling anything, 'kay?

[ ooc: read up on the faq, h/e if this isn't allowed, notify me! he doesn't really expect anyone to "buy" anything. if at all, this is more of an advertisement of his rad skillz, yo. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Who the fuck would pay for that?

I would.

[ s m a r t. ]

As a matter of fact, if anyone as straight up suave as me would pay for a pretty fucking awesome piece of artwork by a cool ass dude like me, then I'd have to agree with myself that I would totally throw down a few bucks and go for it.

[ there's an eyeroll here, but dave's shades hide all. ]

In other words, who's talking?

You are an artist in your world?

[Passively. She's curious.]

Meh, artist is kind of pushing it.

[ oddly enough, he isn't looking to degrade the artist name with work he knows isn't quite grade a, despite what he just told the other guy. ]

Are you?

No. I am a spirit sealed within a sword.

[She says this very matter-of-factly.]

Neat. You should teach me that sometime.

Name's Dave Strider, you can call me Dave? Cool kid, douche canoe, though the latter's kind of pushing it.

[Fi has no idea what half of what this child said means, but he seems friendly enough, and open to conversation, so she continues to speak.]

I am called Fi. I cannot teach you how to become a spirit. I was created this way by the Goddess.

What is a 'cool kid'?

[Just cocking his head at the screen curiously.]

You have, um, very...interesting drawings, if I do say so myself. Do you do this often?

[... This is not actually intended as an insult. It is a completely honest question.]

There are people who would pay for that?

You have got to be shitting me...

[Maybe Xavier's a bit of a snob when it comes to art, especially portraits, but...

[No. No, there is no way this kid is serious...]

2uck2.
bliind giirl2 draw better than that.

cOMMISIONS IS SPELLED WRONG,
wHICH MIGHT DETOUR PEOPLE FROM BUYING IT, sINCE QUALITY CONTROL IS IMPORTANT,
oR, iS THAT AN INTENTIONAL THING,

A guy who thinks your outta yer mind, that's what.

Please don't waste our time with jokes.

...You're intentionally drawing badly? Why on earth would you do that?

[ Nope, she can't understand that at all. ]

Fi. Short and sweet, pretty decent. And I kind of figured you couldn't.

[ oops look at this next question. A QUESTION ABOUT WHO HE IS, HIS VALUES. or something like that. ]

A cool kid is a kid that's really cool??? Cool being "awesome", wicked. Just not in the evil, rampaging, witching hour sense. It's all really pure, Earthian slang.

[ he would've thrown in something about urban dictionary there, but let's not push it. ]

You are from Earth, right?

[ hey there johnny. would you like to play a game? ]

If I'm out of my mind, then what's the meaning of life?

[ oh hey, just catching this dude's end of the video feed, and...

hello, cheriour.

staring!! and forgetting to answer the question. ]

Wow dude. That's sick.

[ not in the literal sense, of course. ]

[ IS HE SHITTING YOU? IS HE?????????? haha probably.

let's just not let this dude know. ]

You like?

[ might as well be honest. what does he have to lose. customers? ]

no clue
thats why i initiated this commission psa
to see if anyone is loopy enough to go for it

[ guuurl. ]

do they
no honestly i think the real question here is why are you talking when im the one with the shitty doodles and youre not
cant you succumb to it cant you
pls
im already starting a portfolio based around this crap gonna be even more famous than i already am

Oh.

I guess that makes sense. Have you had any luck?

i dunno you tell me
does this actually look like a THING thats pretty much happening
cause if it is im seriously gonna need you to do a straight flip 180 off the porcelain goddess youre on and look at the dealio
quality control can suck it

nah
gotta give credit to people they might be landing here bigger and dumber with the craziest shit hairdos but theyve still got the brain appositeness of someone decently aware of their surroundings
and a scam when they see one
not saying this is entirely but you get the jist

I thought I was lightening the mood.

Besides, who said this wasn't serious.

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