asgardeventide | 006 || voice

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006 || voice

[The voice that comes over the feed is definitely Henry's, but it's- different. More nervous, tense. It's not cheerful or light or anything like it.]

Hey, uh- does anyone have any tips on how to relax? Like if you can't get a thought- or a lot of thoughts- out of your head, and you have no idea how to even start dealing with any of them? I always said I'd never last a week, and, er-

I think I was right.

[Shaky laughter; it's nothing like his usual sort. On the other hand, the emotion in it is actually a bit more real.

Henry almost ends the transmission there, and there's a few minutes of silence before he adds, reluctantly, guiltily:]

Also if you see Ryan around, please don't mind him too much, he doesn't really know what he's saying, and he'll probably feel really bad about it later. Also don't give him a weapon or promise him your organs, even if he asks nicely.

I... think that's it, thanks.

((OOC: Henry's been afflicted by a personality swapping curse, exchanging his usual careless morbidity with Ryan's nice propensity for worrying (and a good deal more thoughtfulness in the bargain). The downside is that he's overreacting and poorly equipped for dealing with normal amounts of emotion and daily concerns.

Well, one of the downsides.))

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[The Doctor looks like he hasn't been sleeping very well (or he's sick), but he also looks concerned. And despite his better judgement, he is.]

Are you quite alright? You don't seem... yourself.

[He's suspecting the gods have something to do with it, because when don't they have something to do with it? But he's also trying to keep an open mind. This could be another attack, or something completely different.]

[Henry's first just frowning at him- was he sick? He certainly didn't look well.]

Definitely not myself, you've got that right. But- you're not looking too spritely yourself. Are you okay?

[For once, that doesn't get the 'ooh, is it contagious?' tone.]

[Six frowns slightly--he should have used voice or text instead of this setting, maybe. Ah well.]

Yes... we were forced to walk back here in freezing-cold rain.

[It was very rude.

He doesn't remember if Henry was on that outing--there were a lot of people. And he does find the concern rather touching; it's nice to have people concerned for him, even if being made a fuss of is rather irritating.]

As a result, I seem to have come down with some sort of mild illness. I'll get over it quickly enough, I'm sure.

From that village outside the city? Yeah, the trip back wasn't the most peaceful.

[Not that he'd minded at the time. And now he's more than a little inclined to fret over people. It was odd.]

Mm, try to take it easy anyway. Who knows when the next attack will be, yeah? Wouldn't do ya any good to be knocked over beforehand.

Ah, so you were there... my apologies, I was a bit concerned about my traveling companions during the journey there and back, as well as our stay in the camp itself.

[He wasn't ignoring Henry on purpose; in fact, if he'd noticed him he probably would have taken care to keep an eye on him whenever he could, just like he did with the Master. The way Henry usually acted made him somewhat nervous.

Now of course it was different, but who knew how long this curse would last?]

Yes, you're quite right. I don't especially enjoy being ill, you know; I definitely want to recover as soon as possible.

[Not that that meant a thing to his cold, of course, but hopefully it'll go away before he gets too very stir-crazy here. Having Ril helps, but... well, he'd much rather be out doing something useful, really.]

Hey, no worries. Everyone's got to watch out for their friends, right? At least we all made it back in one piece.

[The half-smile he gets is more real than usual. And he wouldn't be offended at being watched or suspicioned over; in his current state, he recognized that his interests were a little unsavory. And in his natural state, he just wouldn't care.]

But if it persists, you'll go to an apothecary or something, yeah? I dunno if you have a cough, but have you ever seen what it looks like when someone rips them apart with their own hacking- it's not pretty, I can tell you that much.

[Frowning, considering the problem.]

If I had my old powers, I could've just hexed the illness away, so I never learned much about normal medicine-- but I think I remember a tonic that was good for the standard colds. I even have the rat livers lying around if you're interested.

Yes, there is that. At least the rain was annoying rather than actually harmful... in my usual body, I wouldn't have even taken sick from it.

[Ril was another story, but... anyway.]

Oh, yes, I expect so... I'm more feverish than anything else, but I'm keeping an eye on it. It's not as terrible as I'm making it sound, truly. [A light fever, achy muscles, and a sore throat, but not much of a cough or any worse symptoms.

He does look rather nauseous at the mention of rat livers, though.] Ah... no, thank you very much, Henry. I promise that if I don't improve, or if my condition worsens I will seek medical attention, but I think I can do without the livers.

Your usual body? --You know, I don't think I've ever heard it explained why you and a bunch of different guys have the same name and know each other- big family? Parents really uncreative?

[Seriously, what kind of name is 'Doctor'.]

...But if you're sure! I'll save some for you, but it sounds like you've got your health well in hand there.

We're... a species known as Time Lords. Technically we're the same Time Lord... well. It's complicated, but suffice to say that every time we die, or have a significantly traumatic experience, we're... reborn, rather literally, as a new person. We refer to the process as 'regeneration'. And due to our tendency to hop about in time... let's just say this isn't the first time I've bumped into myself wandering about the cosmos.

...as for our name... that's complicated as well. [And that's all you're going to get about that subject.]

That... sounds really cool and also confusing.

[At least he's not going to get quizzed on what kind of awesome deaths he's already had. Or will have. Because dying a whole bunch of times sounds less appealing at the moment.]

So you're the same person, and also an entirely different one? Time travel I can sort of get, we've had that happen in my world, but dying to turn into someone else? That's- kinda weird.

It's a Time Lord trick; we're rather used to it, but I suppose I can see how an outsider might find it confusing, yes.

[Depending on what mood he's in, he might not mind telling Henry about some of them. Perhaps not all... but some of them.]

Well... our core personality is the same, but different... aspects of it shift around and come to the fore with each new face. Some of me are more... compassionate, more to-the-point, more whimsical... I, for example, am one of my more pragmatic and better-dressed selves, if I do say so myself.

[That was a lot of talking for a sick person. He breaks off there to cough, reaching over the bracelet video to grab a glass of water. A few sips of that seems to settle the coughing, thankfully.]

Ah... where was I? Oh, yes. We're ultimately the same person, but we tend to approach situations with our own personal opinions and perspectives. It can be invaluable when solving a problem, but more often than not the rest of me just gets in the way.

[...he also tends to get in a lot of silly arguments with himself, in case you hadn't guessed. Or noticed.]

Edited 2013-11-15 06:15 (UTC)

You do have a pretty fine coat.

[And he smiles, trying not to look too concerned at the coughing. Should he really be asking him to talk? But then, it was interesting, so...]

But that's- huh. Do you mind at all the idea of just continuing on, but not quite being yourself anymore? Someone else carrying on with your memories, but not making the same thing of them?

I've talked to another one of you- dislikes me a whole lot, I think. [Weak laughter; he shakes his head.] Not that I can blame him, but I don't get the same feeling with you- so it's odd to think that you're the same person.

[He preens a bit at that. His coat is fine, thank you very much for noticing. But he sobers again, giving the questions due consideration.]

Well... I am them, and they are me, every one of my incarnations. But I'm me now, and I'll be them then, or I was, when it's that time.

In a way it's... comforting, really. I may die, but part of me--all of me, really, just mixed about a little--carries on. Not that I want to die, far from it, but... well. Everything dies eventually, doesn't it? And while I hope my life is a long and interesting one... nothing can last forever, not even me.

[But getting away from this overly morbid topic... he quirks an eyebrow at Henry.]

Mmm, well... your usual self is a bit. How do I put it... callously, one might even say gleefully interested in the suffering of others. I can see why some of my selves might be less than keen to spend time with you. As for me... let's just say I favor giving people the chance to better themselves.

[He'd be too big a hypocrite to bear if he wasn't... though he was never quite as... odd as Henry tended to be.]

Everything does die eventually. And death itself isn't so bad.

[More sober than gleeful, even if the attitude is more or less the same. And he's quiet for a moment, considering.]

Are ya happy with the way you turned out? Since you've got the chance to talk to your future selves, see how they ended up.

And... I don't want to defend myself, there's no excuses for what I say to folk, especially when they're hurting over something. But it's not- malicious? It's not harmless either, but... [A sigh; it's more of a huff.] But it's kind of you to give people chances, even if they don't appreciate them.

I'll take your word for that. At least in my experience, death is only 'not so bad' once the dying part is over.

Oh, very much so... if you mean this me, myself. I'm infinitely better than the person I used to be, trust me. As for the rest... I don't know. They seem... [Different. Strange. Very far away from where he is, even Eight, who's the closest to him.] ...different, but not in a bad way. I'm really not sure, I don't spend a great deal of time engaging in self-reflection, as a rule.

Yes. Well. I'm happy with how I am now, as I said, but when I first regenerated... I was in need of a few second chances myself, more than a few, to be honest.

That's better than being regretful, yeah? But I think I see- I'm not much for self-reflection either, and I've only got one life to deal with.

But what did you do? I mean, if it's not too personal to ask. Though I'd assume that someone with- multiple lives, would have enough time to stumble into a bunch of sins, just by accident.

[After a long, long pause, he switches the video over to a private setting. If he's going to talk about this at all, he doesn't want anyone finding out other than the people he tells. With what he's done... yes. Better this way.]

I... well. First of all, you must understand, when we regenerate there is nearly always a period when we're confused, when we do or say things we don't mean; we call it 'regeneration sickness'. We don't always remember the things we do after we've done them, to make it worse.

Mine was particularly bad--to say the least. I said things... did things that I am not proud of, and that I hardly meant to do, and that I still don't remember entirely clearly. I got over it... but it's a wonder that my friend forgave me for what I'd done. She barely understood what was happening, much less why I'd done... that.

[Poor Peri. He hadn't deserved her loyalty, especially after the way he'd attempted to kill her, at first.]

[He's a bit surprised at the private setting, tilting his head a little and listening. It's a bit of a pause before he replies himself.]

Still... you didn't have control over it, yeah? I can get why you'd feel guilty, that's just how decent people react, when they do something unfortunate, even by accident-

[Which isn't even really a revelation in itself; there's an inward sigh as he recognizes he's not one of those people.]

-but that doesn't mean it was your fault. It's like Thiazi's corruption here- no one chose it, that's why no one blames anyone for those actions. Bad things happen, especially to good people.

[He just doesn't want certain parties to hear about this particular little confession. Plus it's... rather out of character for him. Perhaps it's because he honestly likes Henry, for whatever reason.]

I suppose not, but...

[That's an utterly simplistic way to put it.]

I killed natives, when I was under her corruption. I could have killed my friend back in my world. Loss of control is hardly an excuse.

Edited (and then i went and used the wrong one myself) 2013-11-20 06:04 (UTC)

Not an excuse, maybe, but it is a reason. Is there anything you can do but feel guilty about it? That's not gonna bring anyone back.

[He'd be honestly baffled at being liked, even if he's a bit (a lot) more thoughtful now. Or at least sympathetic.]

And you didn't kill your friend at home, yes? You could've, but you didn't- and even if they shouldn't have been in danger to start, it worked out. More-or-less. Sometimes- a lot of times- that's the best you can hope for.

[Well, maybe 'liked' is the wrong word, but... he finds himself feeling sympathetic toward him, or at the very least, compassionate.

However, he's frowning a bit at this advice. Just try not to think about it and get on with your life? That doesn't sit well with him, even if it's probably the only reasonable answer.]

Yes, well. I suppose most things in my life tend to work themselves out more-or-less for the best.

[That doesn't mean he necessarily has to like it.

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006 || voice

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