asgardeventide

[This is somewhat overdue, seeing how in the three months he's spent in the city, he has never addressed the network directly on purpose. It's also uncomfortable for him, and try as he might to hide it, it still shows. But nevertheless, it is time. He at last has business worthy of bothering the network for.]

It seems we will soon be needing our skills yet again. I remind you that fighting lessons in several weapons are offered in the Citadel if you wish to learn how to fight, whether for this world or your own protection. I will gladly accommodate anyone who wishes to join, and the price will not leave you stranded.

[And then he casually inclines his head and uses his hard learned technological skills to SCREEN THE REST AWAY FROM THE MERLIN CAST]

Knowing that much is kept from you, or knowing what it is that's being kept from you, even if it will do you harm - [or break your heart to shreds, like knowing that the woman you love will be your king's] which would you say is worse?

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[ Kate doesn't like the serious tone and the filter attached to the end of this message. It worries her. ]

It depends on how you take it. I can't stand not knowing things if they have to do with me, especially if they're important. [ she shakes her head, too many memories coming to mind. ] But there have been times that I've...regret. Knowing.

But it really differs.

[ a pause, and then her curiosity gets the worst of her. ]

Did something happen?

I do think I will be able to handle it, but I cannot truly know until I...know.

[He shakes his head]

Have you spoken to Morgana lately? She has changed - greatly. The future in Camelot seems grim, and I the only one who remains in the dark about it. How can I perform my duties, how can I help and protect those I have sworn to protect if I know not what it is they need protection from?

[ Kate bites her lip. She doesn't know Morgana, didn't before either, but it's fairly easy to see it bothers Lancelot whatever happened to her. ]

That's something you have to decide. What happens here and what happens back in Camelot are different fates - it's possible for you to protect those you made your vows to here. But back home is something else. If you think the two are so connected that you have to know, then you have to know.

But it's something to think about if those you trust think it's better if you didn't know. [ she sighs and shakes her head. ] I'm sorry I can't be more help.

I'm afraid my decision matters little, I cannot force anyone to share that which they have deemed better to hide.

[He can only resign himself to it and try to make do in this impossible confining frame.]

But I know not how to help despite it. Yes, these are different fates, but are we not all haunted by the fate of our home? We are incapable of truly setting it aside and living our lives here as separate lives. I am Arthur's knight because that is what I wished for there. The same holds true to what troubles follow them here.

[Gods he just hates being from the past so much!]

You are as helpful as I can ask of anyone, Kate. You are a good friend, and I thank you for that.

If you really wanted to know, I'm sure they would tell you.

[ kate frowns a little. ]

Relazted, yes, but they don't have to be exactly the same. What happens here does not have to be what happens there. You have more control over your own fate than that.

[ at least, so she hopes. ]

Don't thank me, really. I haven't done anything than tell you what you already know.

I'm not that certain. [He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. Merlin already told Gwaine to keep things from him, that much he knows for certain.]

It all stands on how they are dealt with and at the moment they are dealt with as in-separate. I know not how to create a separation. [How to make Morgana see that what Uther has done is not what Arthur will do, that they are so much better off working together.]

Sometimes, that is more helpful than anything.

[She shakes her head.] If it matters that much to you, they won't keep it from you like that. You just have to let them know it matters.

[But then again, isn't that exactly what Castle had done to her? She pushes the thought away.]

There is always a way to change things, even if you don't think so. Even if other people don't think so. You have more control over your own fate than that.

[People are stubborn, it's just a matter of being more stubborn. Where it counts. Kate rolls her eyes, though.]

You say that, but we both know that's not always true.

There is -- but I cannot find it.

[It drives him crazy, not being enough yet again, not having the ability to fix anything. He's just always helpless, much as he tries to fix things, to learn, to get better.]

Not always, but at this time it is.

Yet.

[She can see the toll this problem is having on him, and it hurts. Hurts that she can't help him, change things for him. Kate's been around long enough to know that this Lancelot isn't the one from her stories, the stories, and it makes it that much more difficult for her. Like she should be able to do something about this for him.]

If you say so.

[He offers a soft smile at that; there's something very touching about the faith so many put in him. And not for the red cloak of Camelot, for it means little to them from their faraway lands. But for knowing him.

He has been the strong one so far, the unwavering in his faith. It's good to have someone else shoulder that burden even if only for a moment, to let him rest, catch his breath and admit his doubts.]

You are a good friend, Kate.

[ She'd roll her eyes if she didn't think he was being sincere about it. Instead, she sighs, shakes her head a little, but then gives him a very small smile. ]

If there's anything you need, let me know, okay?

[He doesn't know what being insincere is. He returns her smile.]

I will, thank you.

[ she'd make you promise if it wouldn't sound weird to her, so instead she'll just nod and cut the feed. ]

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