asgardeventide | 010 || video

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[The Henry in the recording is as calm as usual- if a little subdued. Like most others in the city, he's been affected by the memory loss, but he's more confused than troubled by it, absently petting a rather fluffy cat as he addresses the screen.]

Well... it's sounded like a lot of folk are having problems with their memories, right? Either stuff in Asgard, or back home- and I guess that can be kind of scary for a lot of people. But I was wondering if, uh- if things were better off this way? For anyone else. Like, I'm sure there's good things I've forgotten too, but... as long as I remember this place, I think I'm okay with that!

[The laughter's not unusual, even the tone is probably familiar to anyone who's heard him- but it's more natural, a reflection of actual emotion.]

I think the gods kind of owe us~ So if they can keep from sorting this out- wouldn't that be awesome? There's got to be other people who're happy staying this way! In any case- do we have any leads on what's causing this? As useless as the gods are, I don't think even they'd inflict something like this on us now. We're not much of a fighting force at the moment. Even I'm not- I mean, I know what I've done here, but I don't really get why.

So even if it's dangerous... is it wrong to kind of want things to stay like this?

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--you sure you're feeling okay?

[Ryan's frowning at the screen with more than a little concern, peering intently at him. He hasn't seen Henry like this... well, ever, and while he does seem a bit happier with that- it's still worrying.]

What do you remember? From before Asgard, I mean.

Eh... I'm okay? A little worried, I guess, but nothing major. It's not like when we were switched up.

[If anything, all the memories he had here were that much crisper, more important. They were all he had to base anything on. These connections were everything.]

But the first thing I remember is getting my bracelet and looking for the right district- there's nothing before here.

...that'd explain it, then.

[He hesitates there, biting his lip. The right thing to do is to fill in the blanks, he's fairly sure, but on the other hand-- it's Henry. Ryan isn't completely sure he could do that to his own spouse, not when he's already said he'd rather just not remember, and what would keep him from just forgetting again?]

Do you want me to tell you what you've told me about home? I think I could fill in enough to make a decent outline, but- only if you say so.

[He's quiet for a bit, thoughtful, but in the end he shakes his head.]

I don't know. But I can remember how I've fought here, some of the stuff I've said- I'm guessing that came from somewhere.

[He laughs, but it's almost nervous sounding, and he tucks his legs in against his chest, peering over his knees at Ryan.]

Is it bad that I don't really want to know? No one else here acts like I did.

It's... not necessarily bad. I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to know that came from, if it bothers you-- I just don't want being confused about it to end up harder on you.

[He shrugs slightly, almost uncomfortably. This is a bit outside anything he has much of a frame of reference for.]

If you're fine as you are, I won't say anything.

I think I'm fine like this. I mean- it's probably better for everyone if I don't understand why I wanted to kill everything, right? Maybe it's running away, but I don't think I want to understand that.

[It was easier to be objective to how people reacted to him, going through his memories of the place without his usual perspective. His old habits- they felt too foreign to even be horrifying, like they were someone else's actions.]

If you're okay with it- since I'll probably be a little different, for now. How're you faring?

[She appears in the living room, an incorporeal figure, a shadow having trouble keeping the strands of herself together. Her hands flutter towards him, a half-formed idea, a thought.

Her mouth moves, but she can't make a sound, can't make herself heard.]

[ she looks at the screen and gulps, a cat of her own in her arms ]

People are having memory problems, now...?

[ a pause ] I'm sure everyone has at least one or two things they wouldn't mind forgetting. [ she knows she would ] So, I don't think it's wrong, no.

[Of the things Henry expected to see, 'spectral Ellie' was not numbered among them. He startles, nearly falling over, a few of the crows in the room squawk and flap their displeasure, the cats hiss and flee.

After staring for a few more moments though, Henry approaches, cautiously reaching out a hand to her.]

--Ellie? Geez, what happened to you?

Yep. Everything before Asgard's just a big ol' blank for me. And I've seen other people- they don't remember their friends here, or their own background, or some sort of complicated mix....

[He shakes his head slightly, but has to smile at the other cat. Animals were still great.]

I'm glad someone else thinks it's okay. But even if it was wrong- it's alright to want some things for yourself, isn't it? Do you know if you're forgetting anything?

No, it most definitely would not be awesome. I'm sure you're not the only one, but I would much prefer my memories not tampered with.

[Someone seems very angry. Perhaps a bit of an overreaction?]

Even if something's a terrible memory, it's still a part of you, yeah? The worst things that have happened to me... I wouldn't want them to just vanish.

Did something mess with yours too? Maybe you can get yours fixed, but if I had a choice, things would stay exactly like they are.

[He half-shrugs, cautious at the anger, but not outright bothered by it.]

I can get that on principle, and there's bad things that've happened here that I wouldn't want to forget about. And it's all the bad stuff that makes you you, right?

I think I've killed a lot of people though. And when I thought my- partner here had left, I cut up a bunch of innocents and didn't think anything of that. ...I mean, I'm not sure what I think about it now either, but that's not normal, is it?

[Ryan hesitates a moment, then nods slightly. He can understand the sentiment- how many times had he wished, when he was back at home, that he'd never had the abilities he did? Things that were part of you weren't always things you wanted, and even if at this point in life he's fairly firm in the belief they shouldn't be changed?... this sort of problem tends to run its course, here. Henry has to remember eventually, they all have to, or then where will they be?]

I'll get used to it. It's not so bad on my end, just-- things that don't quite add up. I thought cooking's supposed to be my job, but why Jade ever hired me when I'm this awful at it I have no idea.

If it wasn't obvious. [Kol just rolls his eyes. But there's less of an edge to his voice now, the tone conversational.]

You really prefer remaining blissfully ignorant?

[Henry wondered if it was a lot to ask. 'Is it okay if I'm a different person, if things stay like this.' Because if this was another sign of the gods faltering, of the magic that held everything together falling apart, there was no guarantee that things would return to normal.

He hoped so, at least.]

...Maaaybe you should take a few days off from the kitchen, at least until things sort themselves out? If they do. I'd say we could try to re-teach you everything, but I don't know if we can waste supplies on that.

I don't know you. Maybe you're always grouchy. Maybe someone screwed with your head before and didn't like the idea of it happening again.

[Defensive. The problem of having a wider emotional range is that feelings suddenly get a lot more complicated.]

--And yeah, pretty much. Is there something wrong with being happy?

O-Oh, that sounds awful...I mean, I wouldn't want to forget my entire life, but if you're okay with it--

[ shaking her own head to clear those thoughts ] Well, maybe not if everyone else has to suffer for it...even if it was unbearable, if someone had something they didn't want to ever forget, that would be okay with me, at least.

And no, I don't think so.

It's less awful than you'd think! It's hard to be upset about something you can't remember, right? I guess I'm hypothetically guilty about forgetting any friends I had, but I've still got the people here.

...But yeah, if wanting something hurt everyone, that'd be a little too selfish. But usually things aren't that extreme. And if I can keep from knowing why I was so comfortable with murdering, even if I lose everything else with it, then I think it's probably a net benefit!

I--guess that's logical, yes. [ well, she was pretty upset about not remembering the same things Sayaka did. but in her case that was time-travel nonsense, so there weren't any gaps, just...different circumstances. So she supposes that doesn't count. ]

Well, I meant it more as a blanket term. Since from the people responding to your post here, not everyone agrees. [ thinking for a moment oh he was coMFORTABLE WITH MURDER OKAY IS THIS GUY FROM HEL HOUSE she has a creeping suspicion this is another Hel person. god they always give her the creeps. But he seems cheerful enough...?! And apparently does not even remember why he enjoyed murdering things, so. ]

I, uh...that's definitely...a benefit...

Nothing. Ignorance works for most people. But if someone from your past came by who remembered it all and confronted you about it, wouldn't that make matters a little complicated?

Maybe I'm a logical guy? This is kind of fun, getting another shot at deciding what kind of person I am. But if you wouldn't want to forget things- does that mean you're happy with who you are? What's important to you? I think I need some ideas about who I want to be!

[The friendliness is more genuine than usual, but the next part is more distant. It felt a lot like describing someone else's actions, the mentality behind them entirely lost.]

Since I think I killed a lot of people before I came here. And I know I've killed a lot since I've been here. Recently, too. Innocents, sometimes. And I really didn't care- isn't that kind of funny?

[Very definitely a Hel house person.]

Probably, yeah. If we'd been friends, I bet I'd feel kind of bad about not remembering them. But until that happens- why worry about it? I've got the people here to care about, I can't do anything for anyone back home.

[ OH GOD NO WHAT THE SHIT DID SHE SIGN UP FOR BY TALKING WITH THIS GUY but she can't just back out of this conversation suddenly, her manners are too good for that....!!

gulping nervously ] Y-Yeah, I think. Or maybe something painful is important, even though it still hurts to think about. What's important...

Um, maybe you should aspire to be someone who doesn't kill people so often.

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