I'm not trying to win anything, I'm trying to communicate. [It's said wearily and Charles leans forward in his chair, pressing the tips of his fingers to his forehead. It is very easy to blame and be hostile to one another. It is much more difficult for the person used to giving away so little of himself to actually talk, but someone needs to know the other person's mind.] Just listen to me, please. I haven't had anyone to talk to in months. [He'd sent Moira away. Hank needed help coming to terms with his own anger. Sean and Alex were wonderful, but young. It had felt like too much to place on them along with everything else.]
I know you offered me your hand and I really don't think my accident was your fault. And for all the hatred I knew you were feeling that day, you didn't kill Moira when you could have done so easily. But you didn't. [If he had, Charles wouldn't have been hit. Erik was trying not to kill someone despite all the hatred he felt towards humanity that day. That was a good thing in Charles' eyes.] It was only after you had left that I realised I couldn't feel my legs. But emotions are not rational. I know what happened, I know the order of things, but it still felt like being abandoned. I'm not sure it was necessarily by you - even if you'd stayed, I might have still felt the same. I suppose it's that your absence didn't make things any easier.
And that - all that - is exacerbating this. [He throws up his hands to indicate everything around them.] Don't laugh, or make some pithy comment, please. I realise this is how it normally is for people who aren't telepaths and we're all dealing with the same thing, so I feel utterly ridiculous for talking about myself. It's just that it's rather a lot. [He gives him a quick side-ways glance, before adding:] I'm not sure I trust myself, either. I've been questioning whether I've slipped back into sharing your company because it's easy and safe than for the right reasons. But at the same time - well, I'm glad you're here. I really am. And I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and being difficult.
no subject
I know you offered me your hand and I really don't think my accident was your fault. And for all the hatred I knew you were feeling that day, you didn't kill Moira when you could have done so easily. But you didn't. [If he had, Charles wouldn't have been hit. Erik was trying not to kill someone despite all the hatred he felt towards humanity that day. That was a good thing in Charles' eyes.] It was only after you had left that I realised I couldn't feel my legs. But emotions are not rational. I know what happened, I know the order of things, but it still felt like being abandoned. I'm not sure it was necessarily by you - even if you'd stayed, I might have still felt the same. I suppose it's that your absence didn't make things any easier.
And that - all that - is exacerbating this. [He throws up his hands to indicate everything around them.] Don't laugh, or make some pithy comment, please. I realise this is how it normally is for people who aren't telepaths and we're all dealing with the same thing, so I feel utterly ridiculous for talking about myself. It's just that it's rather a lot. [He gives him a quick side-ways glance, before adding:] I'm not sure I trust myself, either. I've been questioning whether I've slipped back into sharing your company because it's easy and safe than for the right reasons. But at the same time - well, I'm glad you're here. I really am. And I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and being difficult.