asgardeventide | 5. [voice]

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5. [voice]

So many of you said it. [A young, weary female voice that some may recognise.] You said there was more to this than the gods were letting on. You predicted violence, even war. And I trusted them. I believed that they were honest when they said they just wanted us to live, to feel things, to make bonds. I thought we just had to work together to make this place colourful.

I'm sorry I doubted you.

[Nakama is in a very deep depression over all of this. Her promises, her will, they've all been shaken by this lie. She needs to be told that something is still worth it. One more quiet, miserable thing:]

There's no escaping it...

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It's better to know the reality of the situation than to remain ignorant of what is really happening.

But why is the reality always so... ugly?

Because people choose to see it and keep it that way. [Not that it's any consolation to either of them, really.]

How can you see this as anything else?

That the situation has changed does not mean we are no longer capable of working together, you realize.

I know, but... [In a small voice.] ... it'll be so much easier to lose people this way.

You would lose people regardless of whether it was a war or not. What of it?

[Tersely.] When you've lost enough friends, you can get protective over the ones you have left.

Yes, it's a lesson that more than a few people know. [Namely himself.]

[Now she sounds almost wry, like she's predicting what he'll say next.]

But moping won't do them any good, right? I have to prepare myself to be able to protect them.

You have to prepare yourself to someday lose them. [He learned this lesson harshly early on.]

[That strikes her like a physical slap.]

I know that! [Shrill, but immediately dropping to something soft and tremulous.] No one lives forever. But not so soon... not again...

It may happen, it may not. Don't let yourself writhe in fear over it.

I'm trying. [Still in that soft voice.] It's hard, after what I came from, but I'm trying.

As are many others. Ask them for how they do it if you think you're failing.

[Well, alright then.]

How do you keep from being paralyzed by fear?

... I doubt my methods would be suitable for someone such as yourself. [He isn't saying that just to be mean, either.]

Why? Because I'm too young? [There's a harshness to her voice. She wishes she could just hit a growth spurt, reach puberty, so that people would stop seeing her as a child.]

That has nothing to do with it. Rather, you seem to value your ability to express yourself so openly through your emotions. [A weakness, but not at the same time.]

Value it? [She has to think about that.] I wish that I could be strong all the time. That I didn't ever break down or get upset or angry. But people say that's wrong, and that I have to do that sometimes.

It's better to have that option than to be forced to remain strong at all times. Eventually it can become empty and false.

False? How can strength be false?

When you no longer remember what it means to be weak, strength can be nothing but a façade.

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