asgardeventide | video; eight full moons

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video; eight full moons

[ Scott probably should have checked the network before appearing on it so he’d know why he's in the situation he is right now, but he’s somewhat disorientated from waking up handcuffed to his freaking bed, so the first thing he does is make a video broadcast asking for answers instead. The fact that they’re comfy, padded handcuffs is more confusing, but all his clothes are on so this can't be sex-related (he can think of two people he wouldn't mind it being a sex thing with but they're nowhere to be seen plus he can't remember how he got here). Little does Scott know, he lost his bracelet and was grey for a while, but Stiles managed to finally find the damn necessary jewellery to survival here, putting it on Scott while his grey self was sleeping.

But Scott’s back to his old self now and the most confused he's ever been. ]

Can someone explain to me why I’m cuffed to a bed right now?

[ Scott looks around the room - which he recognizes as his room, and it’s pink. Thanks for redecorating while he was grey, Rue. ]

In my pink room? [ Scott looks down at the two creatures watching him at the bottom of his bed. ] Guarded by a wolf cub and baby dragon?

[ When the dragon gets closer, Scott sees it’s holding keys in its mouth. What look a lot like handcuff keys. Yes. Scott beckons the dragon over to him. ]

Here - come here, boy! Come closer, come on… [ Except the dragon doesn’t. It tosses the keys into the air and the wolf cub catches it in her mouth. And then there’s an audible swallow. Goodbye, keys. Scott just… stares, and then thumps his head back against the wall behind him with a groan. ]

This can’t be happening.

[ To make matters worse, the wolf cub and the dragon jump on him for cuddles. ]

No way. I’m not cuddling you guys.

[ Except he totally is. He’s Scott McCall, unable to resist cute animals wanting to cuddle him. ]

You both suck. [ The video ends on Scott's sulky, pouty face. ]

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[ Is that all you have to say, Stiles. ] Dude, where've you been? [ He's not mad, he's just literally talked to everyone and it's unusual for Stiles to be the last to respond. Save the best for last though, right? ] Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm good. I was at work.

Ah, sorry about the key. There's a spare in my room, which, you know, I guess was a good plan considering.

Bad Hale. Bad Cora. You kind of screwed over uncle Scott.

I think I liked it better when you didn't work and your only responsibility was to blame your farts on me...

There's actually a spare key. [ Scott sounds surprised. Sorry for doubting you, bro. ] Cora?

Ah, back in the good old days, right? But someone's got to keep a roof over our heads and make sure you're in fresh pjs.

[There's a bit of a grin there and he ducks his head.]

He still hadn't picked a name for her and I couldn't call her 'wolf' or something dumb, so... Think he'll kill me for it?

Derek might punch you in the face. Cora will definitely kill you if she ever shows up here.

How many people did you ask to look after me?

Derek always wants to punch me in the face. This isn't a new concept for me. Cora... I'm just sort of hoping she'll be too distracted by the actual cute to kill me.

Um... a few. Why?

I wanted to know so I could send everyone thank you cards.

Did you have to handcuff me to my bed?

I'll make you a list when I get home. Don't worry, I didn't dole out the intimate stuff. Dad had you covered while I was gone.

And yes. Yes I did. You kept trying to wander off. You weren't sleeping like you were before.

[ Scott's face turns more serious at the mention of Stiles being gone. He's already heard from someone else that Stiles left to fight in Alfheim. ]

I wanna be mad at you for leaving me behind and fighting without me.

[ He's not, though. He's just worried about what could have happened to Stiles. ]

Would you have preferred that I drag you behind me on a leash?

[You get a look, Scott.]

Aside from the fact that I was more there for fire duty, Isaac kept trying to babysit me, so don't worry. I was apparently covered.

[ Scott's not going to dignify that dog joke with a response. ]

Looking out for people keeps him out of trouble. It's good for him.

Hey, don't use me for therapy between you guys. All that unresolved sexual tension needs to go somewhere and trust me, I don't want to be on the receiving end of it from either of you.

I have... things. Someone would be very agitated if that happened.

I'm not--

There's no--

You wouldn't be on the--

Shut up and come home. I need to pee.

Then maybe you shouldn't have a dragon and wolf cub jumping on your bladder. Isn't that right, Hale? No jumpies. JUMPIES!

[Okay, he did that on purpose, knowing it would get the little guy worked up. Because he was evil.]

I'm on my way home. Try not to pee the bed. Shouldn't be longer than... fifteen?

Wait, no--oh my god. [ There is a wolf cub and dragon bouncing on his bladder like a trampoline right now. This can't be happening. ]

I'm gonna kill you. [ If he pees the bed, Stiles is sleeping in it, end of story. ]

[Stiles is just laughing now. Shut up, Scott. He's glad to have you back. He missed your stupid puppy butt face and it was weird feeding a grey version of his best friend. And talking to him. About everything. Still. Because that's what he did.]

With what? Toxic pee? Hold on, I'm not far away now. Ask nicely and maybe I'll start a brisk jog.

Toxic pee? Why would my pee be toxic? What have you been feeding me - ah! [ Scott squeaks when Cora presses her foot deep into his bladder. ]

I hate you. [ Nope, not asking nicely. ]

[He was laughing now (which was mean, but come on, this was hilarious), heading down the street they lived on.]

Shoo them off, Scott. And no, you don't. You love me. You'd better, otherwise the next time you go grey, I'm not giving you any showers or making sure you go to the bathroom or get read sonnets by people while I'm gone.

How am I supposed to-- [ Hang on, Scott has an idea to at least get Cora off him. Scott bends his leg to reach his foot and pull his sock off, then hurls it across the room. ] Go fetch! [ It works, both Cora and Hale stop trying to make Scott pee and go after the sock. ]

Too shy to read the sonnets you wrote about me yourself?

Oh, I'll read you my sonnets, my bonny wolf lad.

How bright doth yon laser beam eyes glow
How quickly doth thy furry face grow
How puppy butt doth thy face seem
How whitely doth thy actual butt gleam

Oh, Scotty, my furry wolf bro
Forever shall my love grow
In brightest day and darkest night
I missed you, bro, let's go get shitfaced.

There, like it?

[He could see their place now and crossed the street to go over to his side, coming up to the door.]

[ Wow, his bro is a secret poet and he didn't even know it. Until now. ]

I'm actually really impressed if you made that up on the spot.

Never doubt my skills, Scott.

[He unlocked the door and stepped in, hearing the squawks from upstairs as Hale heard him, echoed in Scott's message.]

I'm downstairs. I'll grab the key and meet you in your room, oh furry butted love of my life.

[ Scott inwardly rejoices when he hears Stiles is home. ]

I'll... wait here and watch my sock get slobbered on.

Better that than sitting in a pool of your own pee.

[He jogged up the stairs, heading into his room first and grabbing the key while he switched off the bracelet. Then he popped over to Scott's room, opening the door with a 'Ta-da!' and being suddenly attacked by two very small defenders. An attack that had him laughing and stepping over their attempts as he headed over to the bed. He dangled the key, looking Scott over to see if he was as okay as he'd sounded, minus the strains of the need to pee.]

Now, can we say pretty please?

[ Feeling revengeful, Scott hopes Cora will hump his leg when she sees Stiles but no such luck. ]

You're really milking this, huh? [ Scott sighs. ] Please will you get me out of here?

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